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Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm Singin' the Summer School Blues...

Summer School....by definition?  Every slacker in the HS recovering credit for 20 weeks of work in 3 weeks.   Why would you even try in school?  Let's think about this from the kid's perspective...
1.  It's hot outside and the school has air.
2.  I can screw around and torture my teachers all school year and make up my credit in 3 weeks.
3.  The most patient/cool teacher is going to be the one at summer school...everyone else is taking the summer to "regroup" so they can take on the fall with a vengeance.
4.  I don't have to wear a uniform and I get to see all my "clown" friends all summer long!

I'd go to summer school too.  At my school, summer school is FREE!!!  I can NOT understand why any student would waste their time doing it right the first time.   Way to go school system...thanks for teaching kids that a second time around is definitely better than the first.  UGH!

My next favorite thing is the lesson plans.  In the planning meeting they said, "Make sure that you are following our curriculum when you plan for summer school."  (Insert cool rewind sound here - in your head of course!)  Uhhhh....wait a minute.  You justify our 9.5 hour school day and our extended school year because "this curriculum takes more time to be done right", but now you want me to consolidate it into 3 weeks??!!  Right.  I. don't. think. so.  Hello HSCE's how've you been?  Traditional schooling...that's what's going on here.

Summer school used to be for the burnouts and boneheads. (stereotyping, I know...but it was...), but since NCLB has ruined education by comparing our mandated school age students to foreign country's brightest and best we are all screwed.  Even good students are retaking credits in the summer to "improve their grades" so they can get into a better college.  What are we thinking?!!  How do we justify the pressure we put on ALL kids?  AND who will fix my car and manage the local McDonald's if everyone goes to an Ivy league school and expects to be lawyers, doctors, surgeons, insert other prestigious positions here...(teachers?)?

I'm not saying tracking is the answer 'cuz I clearly know people who have overcome that system, but really?  We're making a bachelor's degree the education level for minimum wage jobs!!!

Sheww....back to summer school.  God bless the students who are trying to redo 20 weeks in 3.  God bless the teachers who are giving up their summer to be with them.  God bless the parents for making sure their kids are getting what they need.  God bless the government...so maybe they can suck less at helping.

Happy Summer to you teachers....enjoy it 'cuz time is flyin' by!

Trench teacher....out.




Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Two Seasons of Teaching

Well, for all those teachers out there, we are well aware of the two seasons of teaching.  The first one is for about 180 (on average) days a year.  You know, classroom management season.

This is the season when men and women, young and old, leave their job every day wondering what kids will think up next?  Do they stay up late thinking this stuff up, really?  It's amazing what kids will do.  On my very first substituting day in a junior high I was administering a test.  First of all, who leaves this for a sub to do??  But anyways, this kid was particularly antsy, and asked to go to the bathroom.  I'm thinking..."Yeah, take your time so the rest of these kids can get through the test uninterrupted."  This was my first lesson in "that's what you get for thinking..."  This kid actually brought me back all of the plumbing from the boys bathroom sink in PARTS!  Really?  That was quite possibly my worst day ever.  Taking all of those sink parts to the principal was torture.  I really remember that conversation too.  "Excuse me, yeah, hi.  Um...I sent a boy to the bathroom and he brought me back these.  He wasn't gone that long, so I can't imagine that he actually took it apart.  Sorry about that."  Gee, I wonder why they don't give me an interview?  LOL.

Bill Cosby says this..."Kids say the darndest things."  I think teachers, most often say, "kids do the darndest things?"  It's not really a statement.  We are truly puzzled by the actions of students.  AND blinded but how stupid we were in HS too.  I hear all the time, we weren't like that when we were in school.  Yes we were.  We were just 16 so it didn't seem dumb to us.  Things do NOT change.

Middle schoolers still spend their weekends at the roller rink, couples skating and eating greasy pizza at the concession stand.  High schoolers still write notes and pass them in class, or in lockers, sell stuff out of their lockers (well if they can remember the combination) and hang on each other in the hallways playing kissy face.  I remember getting that smooch before class.  What were my teachers thinking?  Oh, I so know now.  "EWWWW!!!  I don't want to see that."  What they said was, "break it up you two and get to class."  Funny how I say the EXACT same thing.  Cracks me up!

I know, get to it, will ya?  Sure, the second season of teaching is interview season.  Sure those that are lucky enough to have landed their public school job before the market saturation have no idea what I'm talking about, but the rest of you know exactly what I mean.  'Tis the season to don your suit, interview, and pray that the next charter school will NOT have their head up their arse.

I'm of the opinion that teaching is like marriage.  No one is perfectly compatible.  Really, you marry the person who has the LEAST annoying habits to you.  Some people find out those habits are really quite annoying still and get divorced.  When you go on your quest to find a job, you seek out the school that has the habits that are the least annoying to you.  Sometimes, the school looks good on paper, but in practice it's a whole new game, and you file for a divorce.

Most people don't file their paperwork until the affair has started, you see.  No one wants to be without a job.  So, they gear up for interview season and seek out the perfect mate.  Too bad there isn't speed dating in this game.  It would clear up a lot of hassles and annoyances.  When a match has been made, they go to court, with a nice letter of resignation and a pleasant parting of ways.

Sometimes, e.harmony and match.com just let you down.  There are no mates for you.  No one is taking your bait.  Then what?  Well, you go back for more.  You figure out how to get through...just like a bad marriage.  You tolerate the imperfections and vent them out somewhere else...my guess??  Online.

Clearly, it is not ideal to stay in a bad marriage.  But many people do it.  Particularly women.  I think it's the whole emotional thing, right?  You are so worried about the kids, and the parents, and the relationships....you can tolerate it for them, right?

WRONG!!!!  Just like in a bad marriage the kids SUFFER.  You must take the plunge.  Be aggressive in your search.  Don't be too picky.  Don't make a suicide career move or anything, but go somewhere that you think will be better.  The market will let up and you can get picky then.  For now, find the place you can be happy.  You have to like your job, so the kids won't suffer.

After all, they are the future.  And if the future continues on the path of destruction it's currently on, we are all in real trouble.  You being happy makes everything better.  There is no place for nobility here.  As a matter of fact, history has really proven that the nobility end up 6 feet under one way or another.  The benefits of peasantry outweigh the guillotine, every time.

Trench teacher...out.  




Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tears? Not for school...

I have been teaching for 5 years.  3.5 years in the city, and 1.5 in the suburbs.  It's like I'm a glutton for punishment.  I just keep coming back for more.

At my first job, about a month and a half in....there was chaos at dismissal.  Kids were running back into my classroom shouting, "They're shooting at us!"  Seriously??  I was a first year teacher.  Thankfully, only 2 gunshots rang out, and the stray bullets hit no one.  But our staff and students were injured with bats and other fighting paraphernalia.   Really?  What have I gotten into, I thought?  I cried that day....but not at school.  I stood strong among the chaos, keeping kids inside and drying their tears on my shoulders.  It was that day I knew that teaching had very little to do with the classroom.  I hit my car around 6pm (after the chaos subsided) and cried harder than I had in a very long time.  The kids didn't need to see it.  Was I cut out for this work??

About 6 months later, an agitated 9th grader wasn't really very happy with me because I told him he had to get off of his cell phone in school.  Technology....the curse of all schools.  Cell phones should be checked in at the beginning of the day like they are at an education testing site.  These things do nothing but cause problems and drama ALL DAY LONG.  Anyways, I digress, he was not going to give me his phone.  I followed him into a classroom (I let him go way ahead of me) and used the class phone (by the door) to call for a Dean to assist me.  This sent the kid into a tizzy.  He literally picked me up and tossed me out of his way.  I felt very small that day, and Lord knows I'm not a little lady.  When I was finally steady on my feet (I wasn't airborne the whole time) I was about 15 or so feet from my starting point.  Really?  Was I cut out for this work?

The Asst. Principal (acting principal at that time) took me to the director's office and shut the door.  I cried that day....behind that closed door.  I also cried when I learned they took that kid away in handcuffs.  I had no idea "pressing charges" was going to lead to that.  He was so young, African American and already statistically predestined for the system.  Would it really do him any good?  Or would he just spiral downhill?  I'm not sure what happened to that kid....but I wish I knew.  I'd love to know he overcame the system because it "scared" him into shape.  Highly unlikely, I know.

I remember mentoring my neighbor teacher...."Never, ever let a kid see you cry.  You've, then, just given them all the ammo the need to do it again and again."  This is definitely true.  It's unfortunate that not everyone in education learns this most valuable lesson.

In urban ed, many kids already feel hopeless.  Imagine what it says to them when their teachers can not even handle their behavior.  Imagine what it says to them when every time things don't go as planned, or your way, you cry.  Modeling is THE hardest part of teaching.  You must model appropriate and good behavior and work ethic in order for kids to mimic it.  It's amazing how many people missed this lesson in college.  I know my professor's sang it loud and clear.

If you need to address a very sensitive issue with your students, be absolutely sure you can remain composed.  There is NO WAY I want to give kids the kind of ammunition that my tears can provide them.  We have a whole year together.  There are kids in the room who are thinking up what to do next to bring on your next episode.  Believe me.

City kids are grown...WAY before the suburbs kids.  They think, act, do like adults, and have likely never had a teacher make it the whole way through the school year before you.  Save your drama (all of it) for a time where kids are no where to be found.  Do you feel it coming on?  Step out, and compose yourself before you ever come back.  They don't need to know it, hear it, see it, or even think it is happening.  Everyone will be better off for it.

It's almost time for the peace treaty....you know... summer.
Hang in there!

Trench Teacher...out




Monday, June 13, 2011

Rules?? What Rules???

In my years of teaching, I've learned that rules are made to be broken....for everyone.  This works from the lowest levels of education in the classrooms all the way to the very top of schools...you know the people who decide how the money gets spent??

In classrooms, we've smartened up.  We have "expectations" and "procedures".  Because we've learned if kids break "rules" we have to follow up with some predesigned consequence that we're likely to need to enforce all alone without administrative support.  Still many teachers still post their "rules" and their "consequences" in the classroom.  This is CRAZY!!!  Here's what I say!  DON'T DO IT!!!

Think about it from a kid's perspective.  Consequence #1 says "Write name on board".  Whatever a kid is going to do is DEFINITELY worth that consequence.  I'm entirely likely to break the rule at least once.  If Consequence #2 is miss recess, I might do that on purpose too.  What if I'm always the last to get picked to a team?  Is recess that fun for me?  Likely, no.  AND I'm likely to act out just enough to lose recess.  I think, kids look at your consequences and weigh them with their actions.  Is it worth it?  If it is to them, they are DEFINITELY going to break your rule.

I think administrators do the same thing.  Case in point, Detroit Public Schools.  As long as no one is looking, let's just go on an administrative vacation, right?!?  It's all throughout America's business system.  Enron, a big chunk of the banks, the auto industry...what did the banks say?  Well, if we didn't give them their bonuses no one is motivated to do their job.  WHAT??!!??  Whatever happened to work ethic?  How about, you already make SIX figures, isn't that enough to motivate you??!!??

Oh, that's right.  NO.  'Cuz your teachers thought it was a good idea to externally motivate you with rewards and a bunch of crap instead of work ethic and so now you need it in your grown up life too.  NICE.  Need some light, summer reading?  Try Punished by Rewards, by Alfie Kohn, or Drive, by Dan Pink.  We have to hold kids accountable, and teach them internal motivation so that they don't grow up to be crooked administrators and politicians.  Lord knows, we don't need any more of those in our country.

In Michigan, we have these public school academies; Charter schools as they are most often referred to. I don't understand these things...and I work in them.  For example, these schools are PUBLIC schools and their only funds are per pupil funding and grants.  If I'm not mistaking, ALL of this money comes from the government, right?  Some of these schools are actually for profit.  I can't do this math.  How do you take tax payer dollars to pay for your school and then keep some for yourself?  No wonder our schools are failing and our taxes are high.  (there is room for a debate here, I'm just saying...)

In Detroit, besides having a liar for a previous mayor, we have cheaters in the school system.  Taking vacations, driving company cars, and stealing from the children...when the budget is in a deficit.  I've stopped counting how many federal indictments there have been in Detroit at this point.  How does someone (who balances a budget) justify keeping their company car when the school operates at a deficit?  I just don't understand it??  Don't people usually balance those things by making cuts?  I'm pretty sure that's what responsible citizens do...and sometimes the government tries to.

We all have rules to follow.  You know, relationship rules, speed limits, rules for banking, getting loans, rules at work, internet "rules",  paying taxes, and the list could go on and on....but the bottom line is still this:  If we don't follow the rules, we will pay the price.  It may not be right now.  We may even think we are getting away with it...and we are...for a hot second.  But we aren't going to get away with it forever.  Eventually, the IRS is going to catch up with us.

It is our responsibility to know what morals and ethics we can tolerate in our life.  How worried are we about the security of our job?  Is our workplace putting us at risk as an accomplice?  The more we find out, are our fears minimized or maximized?  Of course, some leaders like to think they are controlling things, and likely they are.  But not in a way that they expect.  They are manipulators.  There are people who know they've done right and there is no good excuse to be rid of you.  Unfortunately, they want to be rid of you, and so they make your life miserable so you will just go away.   Generally this is an effective strategy.  A good worker will leave.

Fear will change the way everyone acts and reacts.  Fear will make you do things you used to loathe when others did them.  Fear changes people for worse.  Fear will bite you in the ass.  I wish that I could live completely fearless, but alas it doesn't work like that.  Anyone who knows they work hard and do right have fear.  Honesty is NOT always the best policy...in these cases.

Someone recently told me, good ideas are only good when they come at the right time.  I don't really believe that, but clearly some people do.  If Edison would've thought that, we'd never have had a light bulb.  Candles were good enough, right?  They lit up the room, and were relatively cheap.   Why would you change something that works?  Oh.  Right.  'Cuz maybe not everyone is satisfied with good enough.

Rules are meant to be broken.  Every great inventor and innovator knows this best.  But it's how much we break them that defines our future. Some people end up in jail.  Some end up with a new job/invention.   Some schools/businesses shut down.  And there are a million places in between.

Take this one thing with you.  I don't know how, or when, but if you break rules, you will ALWAYS get caught.  Some consequences are more severe than others.  I hope, for your sake, it wasn't too serious a rule.

Trench teacher...out.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

June should be removed from the calendar...

June is by far the worst month of the school year.  The kids are checked out.  The teachers are checked out.  The Dean is tired and wishes he could check out.  But yet, there are finals in 2 weeks.  My favorite is the staff meeting in June.

Principals all over the state are trying to convince their staff to push kids to "finish strong".  Push the kids.  Expect the most from them.  It's crunch time.  Whatever.

It's survival mode.  It seems like everything would just be easier if we took June out.  Right?  May would be the end and then July would come.  The weather would be miserable so the kids would like to be in school still.  Then it would be July, the weather would be nice and we would all be enjoying it free of the stress June brings.

What stress you say?  Of course you do, corporate junky.  You can also pee whenever you want.  And if you don't want to be around people you have someplace to hide.  The only place to hide at school is the staff bathroom, and since everyone pees on a schedule you have about 3 minutes....if you're lucky!

It's June...so all of the sudden parents and kids are concerned about their grades.  IDK why they didn't worry about them any time between September-May, but they don't.  Probably because the reality of Summer School is hitting the parental pocket books.  These are my favorite moments:  "Can I talk to you about my grade?"  "Do you have some extra credit?"   "Can I turn in my makeup work?"  Parents ask these exact same questions.  AND when they don't get the answer they want from the teacher, they ask the principal.  At my school, we comply.  SO....I'm writing extra projects for kids who screwed up last quarter because they were in a 10 person "melee" (in the words of my principal) after school.  The real question is, why are we accommodating kids that are such an embarrassment to our school?  I can't understand it?!!  Whatever the case, I just gave him one of the projects he didn't do in the first place...it's June and I'm not writing a new one.

I wonder if I was on the verge of getting fired if I could get some extra credit to fix all the mistakes I'd made in the past and just wipe them away, you know like extra credit is supposed to do for all those zeros in my grade book?  Maybe when I miss a day or a week because my family took a vacation (not on the scheduled 25 vacation days in the school year, but an extra one) they will give me the make up work I missed.  4 meetings, 13 class periods, and all the work and grading that goes with it.  While I was out, power school went down, so I'll be needing to reenter everything I've done so far.  It should all be completed by Friday.  Ridiculous.  Of course, the expectation would be that I'm still taking care of all that crap even though I'm off.

I'm thinking I may talk to the boss about the due date for grades.  I'm just not going to be able to accommodate it.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to need an extension until July.  It shouldn't be a problem right?  I'll just be turning in my "missing work" when it's convenient for me.  That's what kids do....  They can wait that long for their report cards, right?

Of course, these suggestions are ridiculous.  No parent or student would want to hear about them from me.  I'd like to borrow a line from Hollywood, "I'm not listening!"

This battle is a stalemate.  This week I am planning to call for a moment of peace, so we all can come out of our trenches for a quick song to celebrate the holiday (you know the best classroom management strategy ever, summer vacation).  Then we are getting back in to wait out D-day.  June 17th.  There is 1 weekend that is separating us from that joyous day of freedom.  Bring it.

From the trenches....out.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Class Divided....

So, as promised...here it is.  The division of students by eye color to teach segregation the day after MLK Jr, died.  A really daring activity that would get a SS teacher fired in the 21st century.  It's a bit lengthy, but worth EVERY second....

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/divided/etc/view.html

Let me know what you think, will ya?


What happened to work ethic?

This is something I ponder often.  I'm not talking about kids...they definitely don't have any.  What I can't understand is how teachers are confused about their job and what it takes to get it done.  Here are some tips:

1.  You get a paycheck because your school reports the attendance to the state and you get money from the total number of kids you reported.  Take attendance WILL YOU??!!

2.  You get a paycheck to teach your content to kids every day.  Not just the days you are in the building.  If you are going to be out, plan ahead and leave something that is relevant.  You make life miserable for the rest of us (and your sub) when you don't.

3.  Your boss gives you rules to follow.  Do it.  For example, don't give your keys to students and send them into an unsupervised space (like the teacher's lounge) that should be a sanctuary for you and your colleagues.  Just enforce what they ask you to, and pull your own weight!

4.  Be on time.  No I don't want to supervise students until you get here because you didn't plan ahead for traffic and are late, again.  (Everyone gets 1 or 2 occurrences because there are some things that you just can't predict, it's the chronics I'm speaking about here.  I like the 3 strikes and you're out rule.)

5.  READ YOUR EMAIL and know email etiquette.
     a.  You have 24 hours to respond before you are irresponsible.
     b.  Do NOT just reply to all...many people on the cc list don't really care what you think.
     c.  ALWAYS cc a supervisor on your parent contact.  (This way parents know you aren't afraid of your boss....and you are keeping them informed.)
     d.  Respond with something that has depth and meaning and actually answers my question.
     e.  If you don't want EVERYONE to know, don't write it down.

6.  Be conscientious of other people's time.  I don't care about your title, he said/she said game, what you told "x" kid, and who deserves a shout out.  We are in the building by requirement for 9 hours a day before the stupid meetings, can we get out of here in less than 1.5 hours today??

7.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Don't be a wimp.  Don't dance around the facts.  Hold kids and others responsible so that the rest of us don't have to suffer with you.

8.  Pay attention to the time.  Start and end class on time.  Don't hold kids after class unless it's an emergency.  That way, you don't have to send an email that class got out late, kids know you care about their time, and your colleagues know that you respect the time kids should be in their class too.

9.  Teachers salaries come from federal/state government funds.  This means you work for the tax payers.  Teachers are always complaining that they want more respect from others for what they do.  But then, they waste tax payer dollars sitting in a desk and assigning text book assignments so they can do a variety of things like: look for jobs, play games, use social network sites, shop, (write blogs), etc.  You must be a teacher when there are kids in your room (THE WHOLE TIME).

10.  Think about each student in the room as your own child.  If another adult spoke to your child the way you just spoke to that one in your classroom, what would you say??  If you can't say, "it's ok, they shoulda spoke to him/her that way" you better check yourself, not the child.

11.  Put your damn cell phone away!!!!!  You are at work.  You don't want kids to text, call, etc in your room, but YOU are going to do it??!!  Ridiculous.  Remember that it is best to model behaviors you expect, not mandate them.  (we all hate the government for their mandates right??)

There might be more for me to add to this another time, but this is just what put me over the edge today.  Teachers are the first to complain about kids who don't do _______________, but yet they don't either.  I saw a video recently about a women who taught segregation by dividing her classes between blue and brown eyed kids.  The blue eyed people were "lesser" citizens.  This blue eyed woman was really angry because the facilitator was not using her name, but this very woman did not put her name on the assignment she had turned in.  The facilitator said this to her, "Why should I use your name if you don't think it is important enough to write it on your paper?" and I thought...this is brilliant.  How can I use this with my students?  Clearly, I'm not capable of dividing my 99% African American classroom by brown and blue eyes, but how can I help kids see that if they value it, so will I?

I'll post the link for this video so you can watch it.  It was super cool.  I can't imagine getting away with it in the 21st century, we'd lose our jobs for sure.

If you want kids to have work ethic...you have to have it too.  What's that redneck guy's name?  Get 'er done.....

from the trenches....out