The Two Seasons of Teaching

Well, for all those teachers out there, we are well aware of the two seasons of teaching.  The first one is for about 180 (on average) days a year.  You know, classroom management season.

This is the season when men and women, young and old, leave their job every day wondering what kids will think up next?  Do they stay up late thinking this stuff up, really?  It's amazing what kids will do.  On my very first substituting day in a junior high I was administering a test.  First of all, who leaves this for a sub to do??  But anyways, this kid was particularly antsy, and asked to go to the bathroom.  I'm thinking..."Yeah, take your time so the rest of these kids can get through the test uninterrupted."  This was my first lesson in "that's what you get for thinking..."  This kid actually brought me back all of the plumbing from the boys bathroom sink in PARTS!  Really?  That was quite possibly my worst day ever.  Taking all of those sink parts to the principal was torture.  I really remember that conversation too.  "Excuse me, yeah, hi.  Um...I sent a boy to the bathroom and he brought me back these.  He wasn't gone that long, so I can't imagine that he actually took it apart.  Sorry about that."  Gee, I wonder why they don't give me an interview?  LOL.

Bill Cosby says this..."Kids say the darndest things."  I think teachers, most often say, "kids do the darndest things?"  It's not really a statement.  We are truly puzzled by the actions of students.  AND blinded but how stupid we were in HS too.  I hear all the time, we weren't like that when we were in school.  Yes we were.  We were just 16 so it didn't seem dumb to us.  Things do NOT change.

Middle schoolers still spend their weekends at the roller rink, couples skating and eating greasy pizza at the concession stand.  High schoolers still write notes and pass them in class, or in lockers, sell stuff out of their lockers (well if they can remember the combination) and hang on each other in the hallways playing kissy face.  I remember getting that smooch before class.  What were my teachers thinking?  Oh, I so know now.  "EWWWW!!!  I don't want to see that."  What they said was, "break it up you two and get to class."  Funny how I say the EXACT same thing.  Cracks me up!

I know, get to it, will ya?  Sure, the second season of teaching is interview season.  Sure those that are lucky enough to have landed their public school job before the market saturation have no idea what I'm talking about, but the rest of you know exactly what I mean.  'Tis the season to don your suit, interview, and pray that the next charter school will NOT have their head up their arse.

I'm of the opinion that teaching is like marriage.  No one is perfectly compatible.  Really, you marry the person who has the LEAST annoying habits to you.  Some people find out those habits are really quite annoying still and get divorced.  When you go on your quest to find a job, you seek out the school that has the habits that are the least annoying to you.  Sometimes, the school looks good on paper, but in practice it's a whole new game, and you file for a divorce.

Most people don't file their paperwork until the affair has started, you see.  No one wants to be without a job.  So, they gear up for interview season and seek out the perfect mate.  Too bad there isn't speed dating in this game.  It would clear up a lot of hassles and annoyances.  When a match has been made, they go to court, with a nice letter of resignation and a pleasant parting of ways.

Sometimes, e.harmony and match.com just let you down.  There are no mates for you.  No one is taking your bait.  Then what?  Well, you go back for more.  You figure out how to get through...just like a bad marriage.  You tolerate the imperfections and vent them out somewhere else...my guess??  Online.

Clearly, it is not ideal to stay in a bad marriage.  But many people do it.  Particularly women.  I think it's the whole emotional thing, right?  You are so worried about the kids, and the parents, and the relationships....you can tolerate it for them, right?

WRONG!!!!  Just like in a bad marriage the kids SUFFER.  You must take the plunge.  Be aggressive in your search.  Don't be too picky.  Don't make a suicide career move or anything, but go somewhere that you think will be better.  The market will let up and you can get picky then.  For now, find the place you can be happy.  You have to like your job, so the kids won't suffer.

After all, they are the future.  And if the future continues on the path of destruction it's currently on, we are all in real trouble.  You being happy makes everything better.  There is no place for nobility here.  As a matter of fact, history has really proven that the nobility end up 6 feet under one way or another.  The benefits of peasantry outweigh the guillotine, every time.

Trench teacher...out.